


Anesthesia

by cjwritergal



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-09
Updated: 2008-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjwritergal/pseuds/cjwritergal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his dreams, he finds solace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anesthesia

 

The world demands him.

_Hero... Savior..._

But he knows that he's none of these things. They fawn him, love him- and all he wants is to shove them away. They don't know. They can't understand. Stupid people, stupid places- why can't they let him be?

_Save us!_

So time and time again he rises, when he just wants to sleep. He wants the world to go on by, and leave him to his peace. But they never will.

His friends demand from him too.

_Cloud? Cloud...Cloud!_

Sometimes he wonders if it will ever end. If they will stop needing him; sometimes he feels as though he never needs them. He does, though, more than most things. They are his friends after all. But they never leave him alone. He doesn't want to stay. He doesn't want to save the world.

_Sometimes you never want to wake up._

Because when he wakes, they are waiting for him. The world is waiting, and he must return- must leave his peace for many more years and days that pass like slowly moving sand. Until he dies, he must remain.

_But within his dreams, he finds solace._

And this they cannot take away. They've tried- everyone's tired to rip it away, tear it apart, make it so that he can never see her again-

_But it's not that simple._

No. If it were, they would never be together, as they are now.

_And she never demands from him._

Eyelids flutter, and he is dreaming. Hand brushes his forehead, and he sees a bright smile. She is here- like she always is. Waiting for him to return. Flowers tumble about him as she dances, twirling around. And he watches her- smiling.

_All that makes sense is here- in his dreams._

And he knows that it's no illusion- no fragment of his tormented mind. She is here- she  _has_  to be here- she could not truly leave him forever. Brown hair tumbles over pale shoulders, and dark lashes glitter.

_I love you._

Green eyes, parted lips, pink dress- it's almost too easy to forget. To forget the blood that stains his hands, and falls on her flowers. To forget that she is gone, and he faces slow days all alone. To forget that he must always return.

_It's time to go, Cloud..._

Fingers trace along his eyes, and he catches her in his arms. He can't go, not again. He wants to stay forever. Laughter, and saddened eyes- light kisses on his brow.

_You have to go._

But he doesn't want to wake up, without her there. The sun doesn't rise the same, and the colors are all so dull. Here it is bright- and she is solid in his arms. Whispers- saddened lips and teary eyes.

_I miss you too. But they're all waiting for you._

And he can feel himself waking. She is starting to fade, and her touch is less real than before. He squeezes his eyes shut, clinging on to his dream, his reality, his life-

_Be happy, Cloud._

And he can see it all again- see the blood and the sword that took her from him- feel the darkness eclipse his heart. He has to die, he must die, it's all his fault and he must die. But a whisper carries over to him, lingering in his thoughts:

_I'll always be waiting for you, here._

And he wakes. He tilts his head back, and he starts to laugh, though he feels no humor. It is sick, it is sad- that's what others would say. Him living in his dreams. But it is there that he is happy- and one day it will never end. One day he will sleep, and never wake. They'll be together, then.

And he will always come.

Until then, the day drags on. But just as he must return for those that wait when he wakes- so too, must he return to the one that waits in his dreams. It is a cycle, and it will not break until the day he dies. It is his reality- and he will live it.

_He will always return._


End file.
